Anant’s blog: Breaking news: ET to break Cannes winners

Dear ET,

 

You’re so cool. You’ve broken the Abby’s winners once again. As is ‘almost traditional’ with you, as you say.

I didn’t know two or three years constituted tradition, but perhaps times have changed. I thought it took longer than that, traditionally, for something to become traditional.

I digress.

I’m so besotted with your ability to break important news such as this that I feel, as a fan, I have the right to request more from you.

When I discover that you have the uncanny ability to see into the future, I wish you had told us that Ramalinga Raju was a crook before he was caught. Thousands of investors would have saved themselves from penury and worse.

I wish you could tell us where the Sensex will be a week ahead of time.

I wish that you had predicted a poor monsoon. The government could have ramped up food stocks adequately and ensured that the aam aadmi wouldn’t have to pay an arm and a leg for aloo-piyaz.

I wish you could tell me, now, whether Liverpool will finish in the last four in the Premiership. It would save me, and all Liverpool fans, a lot of stress.

Punters worldwide would be grateful if you could give them a sneak peek into the FIFA World Cup. Who will make the semifinals? Who will make the finals? Who will win? You don’t have to do it tomorrow, we can wait for a week before the semi-finals, thank you.

But I know that I’m being illogical, asking for the moon. I know you have no interest in mundane matters such as those listed above. You save all your prediction skills for areas with earth-shattering ramifications such as the Abby winners.

Let’s see how cool you really are. Give us the names of the Cannes Lions winners a week before they’re announced.

Is that asking too much, even of such miracle workers such as yourselves?