Pseudo Kramer’s Blog: Of the stupidity of briefs

Day 1, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

FM : BRAND MANAGER

Hi. You must have seen all the hype around the Old Spice videos. My boss etc are all very keen we do something like that. Can you give it some thought and come back with some ideas?

 

Regards

 

Day 2, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

FM : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVEE

Please see mail from BM. What do you think we should do?

 

Day 3, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUITVE

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

Of course now everyone wants an Old Spice!!

Let me check with the marketing manager whether this is even legit, or is the brand manager sending us on another merry goose chase. Remember that ‘We must dominate the SG F1 night race’ brief and we ended with one ad in the TOI? 

 

Day 4, 2010

TO : MARKETING MANAGER

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

Hi. We got a request from BM that you were looking for a campaign along the lines of the Old Spice work. Wanted to confirm that this had your endorsement too.

 

Day 5, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

FM : MARKETING MANAGER

CC: BRAND MANAGER

Am surprised that so many days after the request, you are still asking if this is on. We are hoping to see some recommendations this Friday.

 

Day 5, 2010

FM : BRAND MANAGER

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

Your AD is going to get fired! Who does he think he is, writing to my boss.

 

Day 6, 2010

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

Looks like they need something in a few days. What can we do? Can you get the team for a brain storming?

Let me see if we can get a proper brief.

 

Day 6, 2010

FM : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

TO : MARKETING MANAGER

Thanks for clarifying. We had already started thinking about some ideas, but wanted to confirm with you before we went too far in the process.

Do you think you could get Brand Manager to give us some sort of brief?

 

Day 8, 2010

FM : MARKETING MANAGER

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

I am surprised you are asking for a brief. Your agency has been working on our business for well over 15 years. You know everything there is to know. You should have been proactive in coming to us with this idea. And when we ask, you want a brief. You know the brand, you know the challenges, so let’s see some creative thinking!!

 

Day 9, 2010

FM : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

TO : CREATIVE DIRECTOR, PLANNING DIRECTOR, MEDIA HEAD

Client wants some ideas for brand A like the Old Spice campaign. Can we meet today at 5 pm for an hour for a brain storming session?

 

Day 10, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

FM : CREATIVE DIRECTOR

Sorry but this is too short a notice for me to show up. I have already something else lined up. Can we set up something for next week, say Thursday or so?

 

Day 10, 2010

TO: ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

FM : PLANNING DIRECTOR

I am out of office till ‘12 days hence’ doing research for a forthcoming book on hair disorders amongst those widowed for at least 5 years. During this time access to email will be extremely limited. If urgent please contact my secretary Janice.

 

Day 11, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

FM : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

CD is not free till next Thursday. Planning is off for 2 weeks. No news from media. What should we do?

 

Day 12, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE

FM : BRAND MANAGER

Just to let you know that the media guys came and made a presentation on this. It was really bad. Why weren’t you involved? They could have benefitted from you. I don’t even know why you are working in that agency. Sorry man. 

 

Day 14, 2010

TO : ACCOUNT DIRECTOR

FM : MARKETING MANAGER

Just to let you know that as we haven’t heard from you for the past week and the media guys were terrible we are going to give the business to ‘new fangled jazzy’ agency who are willing to do a pilot for free.

 

As Kramer has in 'Seinfeld', Pseudo Kramer has a unique perspective on the goings-on in the world, this time of advertising and marketing.